Why run when you can…

…take a nap?

….eat?

…watch TV?

…go shopping?

….sleep some more?

I am very surprised by how much I DON’T miss running. Training was such a major part of my life and now that I’m not doing it, I should be feeling pretty desperate, right?

Wrong.

A few months ago, most of my free time was spent either getting ready to run, recovering from a long run, organizing a run, talking/blogging/writing/reading about running, or, well, running. Every.single.day. A little obsessive anyone?

I’ve always thought that running kept me grounded. It was my therapy, my best friend, my happy pill. So it makes me wonder… HOW AM I STILL SANE???

(Or am I?)

Miraculously, I am still alive and well despite two months of very little or no running!

I’d like to think that I’ll go back to running eventually, and that I’m just taking a break. After all, I have taken breaks before and always found my way back to running again…

But this time, I am really relishing my time off. So, contrary to the spirit of this blog, I will break the rules by listing the...

Top 10 Reasons Why Taking a Break from Running is a GOOD THING (for me):

1) Sleep in, go out, go shopping, READ—I have time to do other things besides running!

2) My hair isn’t getting destroyed now that I don’t have to constantly wash it after sweaty runs.

3) I’ve actually LOST weight since I stopped running and am down to 109lbs. “Oh, you must have lost muscle,” you say. Maybe. But I’ve been lifting a lot too, and some may argue that my biceps never looked bigger…. Just sayin’.

4) I no longer have to ice my knees three times a day, go to physical therapy, use the horrendous foam roller, or stretch forever before I can start exercising.

5) I don’t have to live with the fear that I’ll get injured on any given run and my race dreams will be crushed.

6) No more blisters!

7) No need to do laundry constantly.

8) I’m saving tons of money: on race entry fees ($100+), new running shoes every 2-3 months ($126), gels, running clothes, race travel expenses—not to mention all the money spent on food since I was hungry all.the.time.

9) No more forcing myself “just put in the miles” when I am exhausted and the last thing I want to do is run.

10) I can focus on working upper body and can actually see actual muscles starting to creep out! No joke, people.

Now, most of the running I do consists of 2 minutes on the treadmill to warm up before a workout. And I’m HAPPY when those 2 minutes are over. I don’t try to keep going longer. I don’t tell myself, “Meh, I’ll do another 58 minutes.” Instead, I speed up for exactly two minutes, jump right off and move on to my next exercise.

I’ve started a new workout routine with Jeff where we focus on weight training/lifting and keep things interesting by piling on “super sets” and “circuits.” The ultimate goal? To be so sore the next day, you can barely move.

This is usually a very attainable goal.

Inspiration

"My will shall shape the future.

Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own.

I am the force;

I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze.

My choice;

My responsibility;

Win or lose,

Only I hold the keys to my destiny."

-Elaine Maxwell

Ten Things I Am Thankful for This Year

1. My job

2. Living in Austin (in A HOUSE, people--a real house with a GARAGE!)

3. Moving out of San Francisco

4. My wonderful girl friends and all the amazing women in my life who inspire me every day

5. Finally getting a car! And driving places! No more walking up and down hills just to get groceries! No more choosing between milk or juice, apples or tomatoes because they get too heavy to carry!

6. Paying off my student loans-- FINALLLLLLAAAAAAYYYYYY

7. Seasons! No more 50-degree weather all year!

8. And of course, for my friends, family, bf, and puppies--the people who make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world

9. All the free food at Google (seriously, that is never gonna get old)

10. Being healthy, happy, and loved

We had a very quiet Thanksgiving this year. The plan was to head down to Houston to see the fam, but we ended up flaking out last minute. First, because we didn't have anyone to watch Mr. Quade. My aunt has two chihuahuas, one of which, Chloe, is half the size of a subway sandwich. Mr. Quade can't handle that kind of miniature canine; one careless step and Cloe would be toast. Second, we weren't looking forward to the drive and we were just so.stinkin.TIRED. The past month has been so hectic that it was really nice to have a long weekend to relax, sleep in, watch movies, sleep some more, etc. So self-indulgence won and we ended up staying in Austin.

The first activity of the day consisted of cleaning the living room and unpacking the rest of our boxes. After that, Jeff suggested going out on the street to play football--well, he basically wanted to teach me how to throw and catch the ball. Seriously, that thing can really hurt somebody. First of all, it's really hard to throw it without it getting all wobbly on its way to the other person. Second, even when you think you're throwing it in the right direction, it wobbles its way somewhere else, like it has a mind of its own. Finally, it's really hard to catch the damn thing while avoiding severe bodily harm. Every time Jeff tossed it my way, I could already imagine my bloody nose, broken fingers, and squshed boobs. Luckily, I managed to partake in our little recreational activity unscathed and with minimal whining (believe it or not).

Since we don't have any friends here yet (tear slides down cheek), we decided to have our own little Thanksgiving meal. I managed to find a turkey that only took two hours to cook, braised some green beans and brussels sprouts, and left Jeff in charge of making the mashed potatoes, gravy, and stuffing--the last, he declared, "tasted like pot" (for the record, we did not put marijuana in the stuffing). The whole thing took maybe 20 minutes to prepare, aside from waiting for the turkey to cook. While he watched hour after hour of mindnumbing football, I watched episode after episode of Gossip Girl online until my brain activity became severely compromised.

We decided not to get a pie for dessert, and I was fully planning on making baked caramel apples with cinnamon and serving it with vanilla ice cream, but… I didn't. And Jeff still won't let me live down the fact that I spent $4.50 on 2 apples--yea, yea, so sue me. We did open a bottle of apple cider, so… close enough.

It turned out quite nice, I must say. We lit the fireplace and some candles, set the table, and Jeff said grace before we enjoyed our little feast. Not as yummy as Mrs. Martens' Thanksgiving fare, and I definitely missed my Uncle Frank's stuffing (with smoked oysters, who would've thunk those things could make it taste way better?). But… at least we got a taste of Thanksgiving. Here is the Jeffers smiling before we ate (the veggies were still in the oven).

Sunday was my birthday and I forced Jeff to go furniture shopping with me. We had a wonderful dinner at my new favorite place in Austin, Mizu. De-li-cious.

New Job, New City, New Life - No Running!

Well, friends, it has certainly been a while! I haven't been running much, so there's not much to report on that, but life has been anything but slow lately!

New job, new city, new house, new car… By the end of the day, I am so exhausted, I usually pass out before 10pm (even on weekends, how pathetic is that?). But let’s start from the beginning…

Everything shifted into motion when I was offered a position at Google. As sad as I was to leave my previous position and my hilarious co-workers, I was very excited to get the job--and to get out of San Francisco!

I had to start pretty much right away, so I had a week—a WEEK!—to pack up, say goodbye, and drive down to Texas with Jeff and the two puppies.

Our adventure began in Palm Springs, where we stayed at a beautiful resort with plenty of room for the dogs to run around and plenty of ducks for them to chase.

Day Number 2 was spent in Phoenix, where we stayed at yet another awesome resort. We arrived in time for Jeff to meet up with his friend Nick and play a round of golf.


Meanwhile, I attempted to run a few lame miles on the treadmill while watching the NLCS playoffs. My knee wasn’t having it though. It felt strange, painful and numb all at once. Fellow runners, do not, I repeat: DO NOT get a cortisone shot if you can help it. If you must, please find a doctor who knows what she’s doing and who can explain all the risks and possible side effects, not someone who will say it’s a “coincidence” that the excruciating pain started AFTER you got the shot (come on, seriously?).

Anyhow, I digress… It was great to spend some time in Phoenix and meet Nick’s lovely wife and cute little girls. I wish we had stayed longer.

The next day, we headed to Roswell, NM. Oh yes, the UFO geek in me was pretty excited to be in that strange little town. Unfortunately, Jeff wasn’t feeling well, so we had to skip the UFO museum and drive straight to Austin the next morning.

We finally made it to our corporate apartment that night. It was in a huge apartment complex, but everything was set up to make us feel at home (thanks, Google!). The next day, our house hunt began. We met up with a fantastic real estate agent, Lesa Calhoun from Gimme Shelter, who showed us around and gave us great tips for settling down in her cute southern accent (I missed that!). After a house hunting marathon, we were starting to get discouraged… Jeff and I couldn’t seem to agree on a place. That is, until we came to the very last one: a beautiful two-story townhome in Northwest Hills, surrounded by trees and in a great neighborhood (the middle school down the street even has an outdoor track!). We had found our new home.


The next three weeks went by in a blur… A week of Google Orientation in Mountain View for me, a week of training in Boston for Jeff, shopping for a new car, going to a batting cage, playing disc golf, watching the World Series (still heartbroken over my Phillies and my newly adopted Rangers), taking the dogs to parks and creeks, more car shopping, visiting my family in Houston, moving into the new place and now, endless unpacking.

I must say though, I am incredibly happy to be here. I LOVE living in Austin. Absolutely love this city. I love the people, love the food, love the cost of living, love the trees surrounding our house, love seeing baby deer in our neighbors’ driveway in the morning, love the owl in her little owl house right in our front patio, love waking up to the sound of rustling leaves and wind chimes, love the smell of fresh earth when I walk outside our door, and love sharing that with a wonderful man and two great little puppers.

Ask this guy how happy he is to be here:

Oh, right, what about running? Believe it or not, running is not my main priority right now. I’m taking some time off to settle in and adapt to my new life. I know that eventually I’ll be itching to start training again (Austin Marathon, anyone?). But for now… I will cherish my lazy evenings and weekends, thank you very much.

PS: Check out the new whip!

By the Numbers

Weeks of training completed: 11

Weeks to go before marathon: 7

Miles run last week: 50 (!)

Longest run: 19 miles

Bugs swallowed (accidentally): 3

Bugs that perished in a pool of sweat and sunscreen (on my face): at least 10

Bottles of Gatorade consumed: 4

High temperature this past weekend: 90 degrees

Minutes spent whining about having to run: 20... to an hour (sorry Jeff!)

Oh, how I would gladly do it all over again, minus the whining, bugs and all, if my knee could just hurry up and heal itself!

Oh, no. Here comes the pain again...

I am now more than halfway through what seems like the most ridiculous training program of all time (sorry, Hal, I love you, but you’re killing me). I was very proud of myself for making it through my first 50-mile week, but alas, not unscathed.

I did a 19-mile run on Sunday which took an eternity thanks to a million hills (welcome to San Francisco). I could feel my knee tightening up a little, but nothing crazy, so I did what any runner would do: ignored it and kept going.

My training schedule called for a 4-mile recovery run on Monday, but I decided to give myself the day off to be safe, and get some ART done at the Chiropractor (where they rub my IT band with a metal thing until my leg is all black and blue—but hey, whatever works!).

Tuesday I went out for a 10-mile run and 3.5 miles into it, when I got to the Golden Gate Bridge, the pain started again. I could feel the side of my left knee tightening, where the IT band attaches to the bone. My right knee was sore (courtesy of patellofemoral syndrome, but that pain I can live with). I decided to cut my run short and stopped after 7 miles. I don’t even want to describe what I was feeling, I’m sure you can imagine. I did not come all this way to get obliterated when I’m so close to the final stretch! No way.

I went in to see my sports medicine doctor today and she made it very clear that she did not approve of my training program (great). My program has me building up mileage steadily before dropping it for an easier, “back off” week, and then going up again with a bang for a 50-mile week, then another 50-mile week, then back down to 38 miles. This goes on until I’m at 60-mile weeks (!).

Apparently, that is not the best way to do it. In fact, it’s a terrible way to do it! Whaaaat!?! According to my doctor, I need to be building up gradually, increasing the distance of my weekly runs and my weekend runs by a mile at a time or so. Alternating between 20-mile Sundays and 12-mile Sundays? Not a good idea. My long term goal, supposedly, is to have a year-long training program, where I can slowly build my strength, fitness, and endurance to the point where I’m pretty much always training at a high level. Hmmm…

So now what? I mean, I’m happy to tweak my program and follow her recommendations, but my race is in less than 2 months!

I ended up getting a cortisone shot on my (inflamed) bursa, on the side of my left knee. I don’t mind shots and it only hurt for a few seconds. I felt fine walking around afterwards and took the bus back to the office. An hour later, after the lidocaine wore off, the pain started, a pain similar to the worst IT Band inflammation I ever felt—back in college, when I had to take a year off from running. This pain is no joke. It means business. There is no running through this kind of pain.

I couldn’t resist the urge to freak myself out even more by doing Google searches on cortisone shots and possible adverse reactions. Oh boy. Bad idea.

I called the doctor and she said it should go away in a few days. She sounded very calm and matter-of-fact about it. We’ll see how long I can delay the onset of sheer panic and all out freak-outage…

10 Tips for 1st Time Racers

Running your first long distance race this fall? Many of my friends have signed up for their first races this year, and I’ve been getting tons of running-related questions... from chaffing to pacing to actually finishing. So here are a few of my top 10 tips for surviving your first race.

(Disclaimer: I am by no means an expert and am just offering advice on what has worked for me. Feel free to add your own two cents as well!)

1- Pick a race—and sign up! Having a goal is really important to me and picking a race always makes it more exciting. If you can, pick a “destination race,” where you combine a race goal with a cool location, maybe somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit. Hawaii, anyone?

2- Pick a training program—and stick to it! My favorite training guides are Hal Higdon’s—they’ve helped me achieve personal bests in many races, and I’ve never been injured when following his schedules. Another program I’ve considered is the one from the book Run Less, Run Faster (a good alternative if you want to run only 3 days a week to train for a race). Having set distances to cover and knowing exactly how far or how fast I have to run helps keep me focused and disciplined.

3- Find a support network—and tell the world! I usually tell my friends and family about my race right away and give updates on my training—it helps hold me accountable, and I can always use the support and encouragement (thanks, guys!). I love running magazines and find the running community extremely supportive. I once sent an email to Rachel Toor, a columnist for the Running Times, to tell her that I really love her writing—and she actually wrote me back and gave me tips for my next race!

4- Go shopping! A good pair of running shoes fitted for your foot type and gait is essential. I suggest going to a specialty running store and have them fit you for the right shoe. I’m loyal to my Asics Gel-Nimbus because I have high arches and supinate a little, but every runner is different, and you might have to try a few different kinds until you find “the one.” Also, dri-fit running clothes (love Nike) with quick drying fabric will make your runs much more comfortable (stay away from cotton!). A tip to prevent chaffing: get some Body Glide and apply generously to troublesome locations. Some people also use Vaseline.

5- Stay hydrated and well nourished—but in moderation! Don’t drink too much water before you go out for your run or you might have to get “creative” on the trails. And don’t overeat just because you’re exercising more. Remember that 1 mile equals about 100 calories. So a three-mile run may make you want to eat a hamburger the size of Texas, but you only just burned the caloric equivalent of a bowl of cereal with milk. :)

6- Get some rest! You’ll be putting your body through a lot so make sure you’re recharging your batteries with a good night’s sleep. At the peak of my training, 8-hours is a must. And if you’re extremely tired and sore, listen to your body and take a day off. It’s better to be cautious than injured!

7- Don’t be a baby. Running isn’t easy... and even if you’ve been doing it for years and years, it’s never really easy. Getting used to a new routine is tough. Training for a race gets progressively harder as your mileage increases. But your body will adapt, you will get stronger, and eventually be able to do things you never thought you could!

8- Carpe diem! One week at a time, one day at a time, one mile at a time. I try to resist the temptation of looking at what’s ahead in my running schedule. Seeing that in only two weeks I will be doing a 60-mile training week is pretty scary.

9- Buy a running watch. I love the Garmin Forerunner 305—it’s an older model, but it has everything I need. The newer models are great too, and as long as they have a GPS to track my speed and distance, I’m happy. Having a GPS watch completely changed my training—because now I know exactly how far I am going and how fast. If this is your first race, however, please please do yourself a favor and don’t worry about a time goal!

10- Never try anything new on race day!!! Race day is not a time to experiment. This is not the time to test our your brand new pair of shoes or shorts. Do not eat an exotic meal the night before. Do not try salt packets if you’ve never had them during a long run (a friend did that and was violently sick on the course). Stick to your routine. Eat the same things you ate before your long training runs, wear the same old running clothes, use the same running gadgets. Trust me on this one, you do not want to find out during your marathon that your brand new cute-as-can-be pink Nike shorts are too short and rub you the wrong way for 26.2 miles. That’s a loooooot of rubbing!

Got any tips? Let me know what you think and what has worked for you!

Quote of the Week

"Most runners run not because they want to live longer, but because they want to live life to the fullest. If you're going to while away the years, it's far better to live them with clear goals and fully alive then in a fog, and I believe running helps you to do that. Exerting yourself to the fullest within your individual limits: that's the essence of running, and a metaphor for life."
— Haruki Murakami

Little Miss Hardcore

It was a beautiful running weekend in the City by the Bay!

On Saturday, I went for a run in Gerbode Valley, where cool misty clouds followed me up impossibly steep ascents. Every few minutes, brown bunnies would dart across the path into the bushes and disappear in the fog. It was only supposed to be an 8-mile marathon pace run, but ended up being a hilly 10 miles (because I got lost, what else is new) with a wildly varying pace--slowing to a near-crawl uphill, sprinting madly like a bat outta hell downhill.

Getting lost was a little scary, especially after having watched two hours of Dateline NBC the night before, which never fails to freak me out. For a second I was terrified by the thought of being murdered and tossed down a cliff to be eaten by once-cute wild bunnies and never to be found. I picked up the pace right about then.

Luckily, my running buddy came to the rescue and gently pointed out that I had missed the path to the start of the trail by about two feet. But of course.

Sunday morning I ran from San Francisco to Sausalito and halfway to Tiburon, then back to Sausalito, with a new running buddy who also does triathlons. It was a beautiful, clear day and I actually saw three dolphins swimming and jumping by the Golden Gate Bridge! Just past the bridge, on my way to quaint Sausalito, I paused just in time to see three deer look straight at me before jumping over a fence.

After finishing my run, I took the ferry back to the city and felt a little guilty about taking the streetcar instead of pounding out another 3 miles to get home. Oh, well. I was only supposed to run 24 miles that weekend and was already at 26, so I didn't beat myself up over it. 26 miles is still pretty hardcore, right?

A few hours later, after a long shower and nap, Jeff and I were on our way to our favorite sushi restaurant. After all that running, I was looking forward to eating copious amounts of raw fish--ahem, protein... mmm. I gave myself permission to eat as many rolls as I wanted (I was full after 1.5, bummer). This was my toughest training weekend so far and I had made it! So hardcore! Woohoo! I logged onto Facebook, itching to brag a little, and the first thing I saw was that my running buddy from that day had decided that 20 miles was not enough. So he went out and ran another 8.5 miles, just for fun, most likely while Little Miss Hardcore over here was napping. Oh, well, it was enough for me!

Track Attack

I am a firm believer that speedwork is unavoidable if I want to stand a chance of qualifying for Boston. Despite the horrible math you have to do while running to make sure you’re staying on pace, it’s amazing to feel that you can run faster without as much effort—which of course, makes you want to run even faster.

I was never concerned with speed when training for my first marathon--my goal was to finish, not to be the new Deena Kastor. Eventually, I bought a fancy running watch (my beloved Garmin) and learned that I could go to mapmyrun.com and plan out my runs. I became increasingly more aware of my pace and even learned to program my watch to beep at me when I slowed down too much (which can get really annoying in San Francisco when you are being destroyed by hills).

But now, with the Boston Marathon carrot dangling in the horizon, it's time to really get serious--and do some serious speedwork at the track.

Wednesdays are designated "speed days," and I find myself masochistically looking forward to having my butt kicked by the Kezar Roadrunners--an awesome running group I joined here in San Francisco. We meet at Kezar Track, where Coach Joe gives us a different workout every week and we run countless laps around the track. Literally countless—I find it almost impossible to keep track of how many laps we’re supposed to do and at what pace (trust me, it’s harder than it sounds). Case in point, a typical workout can go like this:

Start by doing three 1200s, the first slightly slower than 10K pace, the second at 10K pace, the last slightly faster than 10K pace, with 400 recovery in between. Then do two 600s at 5K pace with 200 recovery. Then four 400s at 3K pace with complete recovery. Did I mention that I should also be keeping track of how long it takes to complete each lap to make sure I’m staying on pace?

Seriously, who can do math, convert distances from miles to kilometers or vice-versa, keep up an insanely fast pace, keep track of which lap you're on and at what pace you're running, all while remembering to breathe and trying not to pass out at the same time?

(Lisa can, and that is why she is my hero.)

Yesterday, in Lisa's absence, I was forced to do my own calculations. Miraculously, I managed to keep track of the distances and intervals, but pace? Not so much. So I improvised. 10K pace became simply "a decently fast pace." 5K pace: run really fast. 3K pace: run 'till you think you might die and your lungs might explode from lack of air. 1K pace: might as well fly. My pace was all over the place, and I could almost hear Lisa saying "Oh! 1:47. That was too fast!"

Somehow I made it through the workout with only a tiny bit of whining (there's only so much complaining one can do while gasping for air). I'm pretty sure I can picture what an asthma attack feels like now... I suspect it's very similar to the track attack I had yesterday.

Injuries, Interns and a Jelly-filled Little Tumor Named Ted

Today was my follow up appointment with a Sports Medicine doctor. When I first saw her, she diagnosed me with a lovely little injury cocktail to deal with--Iliotibial Band Friction Syndrome on my left knee, Patellofemoral Syndrome on my right knee, all exacerbated by weak glutes. Treatment? Physical Therapy to strengthen my lazy butt.

I had also whined about being tired all.the.time when training for a marathon. We’re talking unable-to-function-zombie tired. We’re talking too tired to sleep sometimes (I know, shocking).

Amazingly, she didn’t just tell me to suck it up because that’s what marathon training DOES to you. Attentive doctor that she is, she asked me to keep a food diary and get some blood tests to make sure my iron wasn’t too low again (I’ve tried to donate blood twice this year and despite taking iron pills daily, my iron level has actually lowered--go figure!).

So they had an intern draw my blood (um, ouch!) and I showed her my 2-week food diary, which revealed that I need more calcium, more fruits and veggies, and well, more food in general.

So far, my knees haven’t been bothering me that much, but I know that I am reaching that dangerous level in my training where the pain started last time: The 40-mile week threshold. At the peak of my training, I will be running 54 miles in a week, which includes the last in a series of three 20-milers (lovely, thanks for that Hal Higdon).

Another fun little side note: my foot seems to be pregnant.

Turns out it’s actually a ganglian cyst, a little tumor filled with jelly. No one knows why they pop up and they’re not really dangerous. So I plan on ignoring this little guy, let’s name him… Ted, for the time being. As long as Ted remains nothing but a naughty bump, we can co-exist peacefully. But if Ted decides to make his presence known in other ways, he’ll have to be drained. Definitely not by an intern!

Dear Denise

I have thought of you often.

I have prayed and hoped and never lost faith

that you would somehow be all better again.


I think of your calm eyes,

your soft voice, and your kind smile.

I think of your beautiful, strong sister,

And my heart fills with love.


The love she has for you, I know

Is stronger than this world,

Stronger than the chains of time

Stronger than anyone can understand.


In your brief time in this world,

you brought so much joy, happiness and love

to your family and to all those who knew you.


You were an inspiration for me, Denise.

You fought bravely, you gave it all you had.

You never lost faith.


But God decided He needed you in Heaven.

And He called you back, His child,

Back to His arms

where you will be safe and healthy again.


I will think of you with nothing but love and admiration.

Rest in peace, sweet Denise. We will always remember you.

Dare to Dream

I am now at Week 4 of training for the Philadelphia Marathon and so far—knock on wood—no injuries! Just a lot of soreness... and consequently, a lot of whining (sorry friends)! A few people have asked me why I chose Philly, as opposed to a race closer to where I live. There are many great fall marathons in California, some of which are incredibly flat and fast (a very yummy combination). But my heart is set on the Philadelphia Marathon for a few reasons:

- I lived in Philadelphia for many years and it remains one of my favorite places in the world.

- Some of my best friends live there (and nearby) as do the runners in my very first marathon training group (Dublin Marathon with TNT in 2009).

- It is relatively flat, fast, and… a Boston qualifier!

When I was training for my first marathon, my goal was to simply finish in one piece. I had no desire to be competitive, and didn’t even run with a watch (!). I just wanted to do it, raise funds for a good cause (the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society) with a great group of people. Mission accomplished.

My second marathon was a different story. I trained by myself and had the goal of breaking 4 hours. Finish time: 3:59:02. Mission accomplished again (barely).

My third marathon didn’t go so well. Although I loved running with the Leukemia Society again, I got injured, so my longest training run had been around 14 miles before I attempted the marathon. I was on pace until mile 20 and then hit “The Wall.” I had heard of “The Wall” before, the mythical point in time when a runner has the life sucked out of him/her, every breath is a struggle, every step is excruciating, and every second stretches on for hours. There was no going through it; there was no way around it. The Wall was there to stay and I had no choice but to climb over it. I made it to the finish line despite not being able to fully bend either leg (knee injury, awesome) for 6 miles under a blistering sun and Texas-style humidity. It was terrible. My tentative and insanely overly ambitious mission had been to somehow PR (just a little). Mission FAILED (shocker).

Now here I am again. Marathon number 4. This time, the bar is set really high: Qualifying for the 2011 Boston Marathon, the world’s oldest annual marathon and most prestigious road race. A serious runner's dream.

I’m trying not to think about it too much. I’m trying to just focus on training hard, one day at a time, one mile at a time. I’m trying to just “have fun.” Sounds like a good plan, right?

Unfortunately, I’m not really a “let’s just see what happens” kind of girl. I am a planner, a doer, a “make it happen” kind of runner (and person).

I can’t help but salivate when I spot a runner wearing the characteristic blue Boston Marathon shirt with the very distinctive yellow logo. It makes me immediately pick up the pace.

My unexpected PR at the San Francisco half marathon (1:47!) temporarily pushed away the doubts and planted a tiny little seed of hope in my head and heart that whispered “Maaaaaaybe it’s not impossible after all!”

So now what?

Now I train 6 days a week. I’m running, lifting, doing physical therapy, taking vitamins daily and even a Spirulina supplement. I’ve lost one pound, bringing me down to 114, but my goal is not to lose weight so I'm guiltlessly packing on the carbs before my long runs. I'm going to bed early and stretching before and especially after my runs. I’m doing my part (hear that, Universe?). Now all I need is a little bit of luck! 14 weeks to go!